No, I’m not actually disabled. It’s just that out of all the applicants for the position of White House receptionist, I impressed Trump the most with my exceptionally amorphous spine and angled neck.
As soon as I walked in for my interview, Trump told Sarah Huckabee Sanders to shave my head, slap a baggy cableknit sweater on me, throw me in a wheelchair, and get me to the front desk ASAP before the press arrived that day. “He’ll be the first person they see,” he said, “so make sure those lefties see ALL of him.” So that’s what she did. Before I knew it, I was sitting in front of the reception desk for the reporters to see.
That’s how I became the White House’s official “disabled” receptionist.
Again, I have no physical or mental disabilities. I don’t even have bad eyesight; I just found these glasses in the prop room and thought they’d be pretty cool to wear.
I’m pretty good at my job. It’s just sitting in front of the reception desk whenever liberal reporters drop by. I did get busted one time, though, for doing wheelies in the hallway.
Turns out Trump hired me because I’m “just disabled enough” to make him look good.
On a more serious note, this model isn’t actually disabled and it’s saddening that stock photography uses stereotypes and able-bodied models to represent those with disabilities. Just as hiring a “just disabled enough” receptionist is something disgusting that this administration would probably do, hiring someone to pose as “just disabled enough” is something disgusting that has actually happened and is probably still happening in the stock photo industry. Yikes.