Hon, chill out! What’re you yelling for? Seriously, lay back, this has all been done before.
Look, if you could just let it be, you’d see that I actually like the way you are. Especially when we’re driving in your car and you’re talking to me one-on-one. (That’s when we can have honest conversations about this and try to fix the problem.)
But I’ve noticed that you become somebody else around everyone else. It’s like you’re watching your back—you can’t seem to relax, you’re trying to be cool, and I just want you to know that you look like a fool to me.
Tell me: why do you have to go and make things so complicated? Stop trying to fake it and act like you’re somebody else, it gets me so frustrated. Life’s like this, I won’t tell anyone, and I LOVE you, even if you wet the bed every other night and wake up doing sleepy breaststroke in our damp sheets because you miss being a competitive swimmer and we’re not rich enough for a pool membership and then you have to take long morning showers to wash the pee off your skin.