Cory Booker Is Dreading the Next 6 Years

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So, the Senate remains primarily old and Republican. No one’s more disappointed about this than I am.

Because of budget cuts, our break room in the Senate only stocks food that appeals to the majority of senators. So for the last 6 years, I’ve eaten nothing but cream of wheat for lunch, every single day. Because the only thing these geriatric politicians can chew with their nougat-like teeth is cream of fucking wheat, and I’ve HAD it. I just can’t take it anymore.

But you know what? Fuck me, I guess I’ll have to. Here’s to another 6 creamy, wheaty years.

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