I Work at the Placemat Factory

happyoldman(image link)

Look, when you’ve been livin’ for as long as me kid, you just schlep through the days an’ they get long.

This mornin’ first thing is I made me an egg salad. Five pounds egg salad ’cause I always overshoot, but then I dropped it on the floor so then 3 pounds. Miriam’s always kvetsching, she says at me “Dannis why can’t you just hold y’egg salad. You got two hands!” Then I says, “Miriam dear. My hands got HOLES between the fingers… whaddayawant!”

Look, I love me a good egg salad but I’ve been tellin’ my Miriam agin and AGIN PLEASE… make it on white bread ok. She always go for the whole wheat but I says to her, the white bread is just FINE ok…

Then I walked to the placemat factory, I walk every day. Look kid, I’ve been workin’ at The Placemat Factory! Co. for some 75 years, and I’m 80. Now THAT’S a job! I was a boy when I started… big Boss liked me fast little fingers.

Now my hands, they’re all rough so Boss lemme make them big doormats in the placemat factory. Ah, FINALLY, a promotion! L’chaim! I remember the day. Best day of my life! Now I work on Floor 2, 3 floors up. But Nancy is a bitch and so damn disalexis. Always switchin the “l” and the “c” in “Welcome”…..women!!!!

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